memnon.net
Bad Humor Homepage
jokes collected by Joan Adams
content last added Friday, October 17th, 1997
content deleted (round 3, section 8) Tuesday, December 4th, 2001
Send comments to the page maintainer, if you
must.
True Mind Rot
Humor Links:
Contents:
- What If People Bought Cars Like They Bought
Computers
- 12 Ways to leave your floppy...
- Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one
hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual
experience interviewing prospective employees.
- HOW TO SCORE POINTS WITH A WOMAN
- A panda walks into a bar...
- APPLICATION TO LIVE IN ARKANSAS
- TWENTY WORDS THAT SHOULD EXIST
- Why dogs are better than women
- Life Quirks
- Very Short Books
- DRINKER'S FAULT-FINDING GUIDE
- There once was this blonde woman who was fed up with all
the blonde jokes...
Round 2
- ACTUAL BRILLIANT QUOTES FROM OBVIOUS
GENIUSES
- ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
- Geek humor
- HOW COLD IS IT? An annotated thermometer
- The Darwin Award Finalists:
- A collection of signs and notices written in
English that were discovered throughout the world.
- This assignment was actually turned in by two
English students:
- ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS
- A very shy guy goes into a bar...
- Darwin awards, a few more
- The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were
gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th
and 6th graders.
Round 3
- WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG
LIMITS
- The British Military writes Officer Fitness
Reports
- Soap - This has to be the cleanest man on
Earth.
- Theme: They're all nuts in L.A.! The Annual Darwin
Awards -
Another Classic:
- The Top 15 Potential Problems With Cloning
Humans
- Lighting charcoal grills
- Dealing With The IRS
- THE VERMONTER'S GUIDE TO COMPUTER LINGO
- Late message
- "Before I came here I was
confused..."
Round 4
- A defending attorney was cross-examining a
coroner...
- If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
- Things you learn about computers from the
movies:
- Beer talk.
- There are many transmission lines that crisscross
Connecticut...
- 10 Ways You Know are dating/living with/married to
a Consultant
- Things that make you go HHMMMM
- "and much, much more"
- An engineer dies and reports to the pearly
gates...
- Scientists Discover New Element
- A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first
baseball game...
Round 5
- HIGHER SOURCE RAISES STAKES IN INTERNET
INDUSTRY
- parenting 101
- So you think you're computer-illiterate?
- ANOTHER VIRUS Alert
- 2 New Elements for the periodic chart:
- Darwin awards 4
- condoms
- New technology
- Heaven's Gate Nursery Rhyme
- A Thinking Problem
- all engineers have but one thing on their
mind...
Round 6
- Running of the Congressmen
- MAN CAUGHT BY HIS CAT-FLAP
- Three mice are at a bar...
- Golf Joke
- BILL BASHING
- PROGRESS REPORT
- 1994'S MOST BIZARRE SUICIDE
- Take a well-known expression in a foreign
language, change a single letter...
- More bumper stickers
- Annual Reviews made easy.
Round 7
- Hell Freezes Over
- The Postman
- "Justification for higher
education"....
- Dan is in a bar...
- --Bad Writing Contest Winners--
- Model Quotes
- Instant-win airbags
- A Letter From Barbie
- Airplane jokes
- Man's best friend
- tickle me
- How to have fun at the expense of others
- Object-oriented programmable toaster
- The 1996 Best Headlines are.....
- Kvetch
- THE RABBIT: A FABLE
- Why ask why
- Duracell Bunny Death Notice
- Green Eggs and Hamlet
- Horse and chicken
- Man's rules for Women
- The Plan
- Waka waka bang splat
- Lipstick
- The Best College Entrance Essay
- Another golf joke
- Adam and Eve
- Bart Simpson's Punishment
- a blond in vegas
- cloning
- four daughters
- Bad jokes
- Natural selection among M&M's
- Quotes
- Subject: new parishioners
- Subject: Predictions
- QUOTE OF THE DAY...
- DUBIOUS ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS -- BRITISH
DIVISION
- bumper stickers
- We're off to see the wizard!
- These are stories and test questions accumulated
by music teachers in the state of Missouri, circa 1989.
- another Yiddish joke
- Bill Gates' Home
- Fry Tim McVeigh
- Yiddish joke
- roses
- some groaners
- cabbies
- polar bears
- The bill
- A cat, a tree
- Amusing Letter
- Damn humor
- Easiest Quiz in the World
- Announcing, from Low-Life Books -- MYSTERIES OF
THE OVERBLOWN
- Martha Stewart's Calendar
- More Hillary Clinton
- Why E-Mail Is Like a Penis
- A Scotsman and a Jew went to a
restaurant...
- Actual signs
- Things one learns from children (honest and no
kidding)
- the truth about Roswell
- Lava lamp news
- Other Boycotts of the Southern Baptists
- Some great Homer Simpson quotes
- campus pranks
- puns puns puns - I'm sorry, very, very, very
sorry
- If Microsoft Built Cars
- HK Hangover
- Signs that you are too drunk
- Call Now - Seriously
- Yo Mama's So Stupid
- You might be a grad student if:
- When professors say this . . . They really mean
this . . .
- WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
- Actual ads in newspapers:
- Lament for Finals
- 18th Century Lit. job search joke
- YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF . . .
- APPLICATION TO LIVE IN FESTUS, MISSOURI
- Plays Shakespeare Didn't Publish
- Errors deleted from manuscripts
- Police methods
- ineffective daily affirmations
- some doctor jokes
- euro-speak
- husbandly advice
- A letter from Martha Stewart
- Slogans for Tyson-Holyfield III
- Twisted takes on Tyson's dining habits.
- What Men Really Mean
- Answering machines
- HYPOTHESES AND RESEARCH GARNERING 1996 NOBEL
PRIZES IN APPLIED PHYSICS
- Airforce denies UFO Crash
- Personal Ads
- Life will not be like Star Trek
- In a Galaxy Far, Far Away...
- More quotes
- Hayseed Microsoft
- HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM
- Review of Lady Chatterley's Lover
- Klingon Software Development
- liz taylor has plastic surgery
- Personal ads
- Tongue of Frog
- what it is
- Dr. Suess' lesser known books
- The corporate zodiac
- just kidding
- you must try this
- Beer lovers only
- Have I taught you this poorly, young
Jediwebber?
- "Washington Rules"
- Letter of refusal
- more driving
- Once upon a time an American Corporation and a
Japanese Corporation decided to have a competitive boat race...
- Ass icons
- Prisons v. Work
- The Criminal Mind
- MIR-Niss
- No returns
- Dominick's
- Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline
P.A. System
- A quarrel
- MANKIND
- Mr. E-Mail does the Macarena.
- How's that again?
- Arthritis
- Sucker jump
- an apple a day
- Wacky Whirly Birds
- The Birds and the Bees
- crack
- One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was
flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the
pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dalai Lama and a hippie.
- REDNECK ETIQUETTE
- Dr. Seuss -- sexologist
- Brain Cells
- commencement speech MIT 97
- It wasnt Kurt
- New York attitude
- New Yorker
- Post Office
- Letters of Recommendation
- Great minds
- An Ogden Nash classic
- Rocket Science
- The Finns
- Top 16 reasons to allow drinking at work
- GENERATION X OFFICE LINGO
- HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME
- Some Catholic humor
- A parent's dictionary
- the strongest man
- Non-Slanderous Political Smear Speech
- Chapter 4 - Dave Barry's complete guide to
guys
- The zoo
- Air Force Two: The Sequel
- The violinist Fritz Kreisler was out
strolling...
- Yugo Thataway...
- 19 Things That Never Happen in "Star
Trek"
- RITA RUDNER'S FACTS ABOUT MEN
- Math Knowledge
- Yoda grammar
- Cane Toad
- limericks
- WANT TO LEARN HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN?
- Meat?
- KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE
WORKPLACE
- The essence of Texas politics
- YOU KNOW YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY WHEN...
- The price of things
- Tormenting Telemarketers - A Game You Can Play at
Home!
- Another joke from Poland
- light/hard men only joke
- QUASI-HUMOR
- Jewish personals
- QUOTES OF THE DAY
- M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I
- The Very Last Tyson Joke
- Bill Clinton - all the way from France
- Anagrams of the rich and famous
- DICTIONARY OF DATING
- Picture yourself near a stream.
- From Joan Adams: Why is divorce so very, very e
xpensive??
- NATIONAL CONDOM MONTH SLOGANS
- From Joan Adams: Oscar Wilde when applying to
Oxford...
- From Paul Frankenstein: Popular European
Languages
- Mistaken identity
- Apple-Microsoft- oops
- A Jury of his Peers
- What what why
- Only in America
- Quotes continue
- Murder by golf
- Penis Length Survey
- How to sing the blues
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE
WHEN
- a science experiment - dihydrogen
monoxide
- Why do guys like to name their penis?
- computers are female
- Top 20 rejected children's books
- some really bad excuses.....
- QUOTES FROM WOMEN
- It's not the meat
- Baaaston
- Resume errors
- Hong Kong movie subtitles
- most embarrassing moments
- St. Peter stories
- A Head
- A bad one to start the week
- the Darwinian theory of brain cells
- Some tact required
- Sound like someone you know?
- Proposed disclaimer for NYPD Blue
- Dogs
- Consulting work
- new std
- Actual Announcements taken from Church
Bulletins
- ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
- BEER TROUBLESHOOTING part deux
- computers must be male, software compilers must be
female
- Are you feeling old?
- The Good Things About Going to Hell
- Lesser known breeds
- Marv Alpert
- Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes
- THE DOG
- Salesman quiz
- women, what if you had a Penis for a day
- Personal Ads
- New TV set
- More on cloning
- God is an engineer
- Concise creative writing
- McDonald's Excuses for the Condom in a Big
Mac
- Restitution
- Soft drinks